How To Be At The Top Of Your To-Do List, While Holding It All Together?

Have you ever thought about how we as mothers always hold everything together, from the kids, the housework, finances, and just the overall happiness of our homes and if you let go, it will all come tumbling down and you will break not to mention the house?

So yes, it’s just easier to mission on and hold everything together for everybody else. What happens if you don’t?   Is our purpose to hold it all together, and if not, who are we?

Have we defined ourselves to be the glue of our homes? What if the glue bottle is at its end or let’s not tell anyone, empty!! How much more are we able to squeeze out before it’s… just… gone?

Since COVID hit the world with a wet sneeze, 2020 has been a disaster year for so many. Too many deaths, relatives and neighbors getting sick, homeschooling, and being stuck inside 24/7 with teenagers that are continuously bored or need to eat, and then I’m not even trying to imagine life with babies and toddlers in this trying time. When the majority of mothers are just trying to not lose their sanity and hold it all together.

I have however realized in the last 8 months that I am the glue that keeps my house together and as hard as it is to keep refilling that bottle and trust me it sometimes it is really sticky, it is not done by losing me but rather done by empowering myself to be a better version of me every day.

After asking myself who am I if not the glue, I realized that I am so much more.

I am a…

• Wife – to be there for my spouse in this troubled time
• Mom – my superpower, I know and do everything
• Teacher – homeschooling was tough but learned a lot about myself and my children
• Peacemaker – Hardest job ever, to be able to keep it civil and fair when you are all stuck inside
• Confident – Children sometimes need a sympathetic ear to vent and talk about their anxieties and fears, especially now.

I am all these things rolled into one, fuelled by coffee and wine and the occasional chocolate bar and I am not saying any of this is easy by no means. I have just realized that I can be all these and still be me. It’s hard for sure but I have started holding myself together too, I am my own glue.

We tend to live the lives of our family and forget to take the time to do what we wanted and loved before.

This is how I got myself back on my to-do list:

• Make a list of things you want to do – reading, painting, go for a walk, peeing by yourself, the hardest thing ever, even with teenagers. Go figure.
• Make a date in your diary – write your list of things you’ve been putting off, set aside a time each day to do that, even if it is at 5 am or 9 pm just do it.
• Keep the date in your diary – when the allotted time rolls around to sit down and do it if you show your family you are dedicated to doing this, they will respect your time.
• Tick off the items on your list, sounds so simple, once you see that tick next to what you have accomplished, you feel empowered to keep going and taking back some of you own time and peace.
• Add another – as you tick one off you keep adding another one at the bottom and in doing so you will keep the date with yourself.

Scheduling time for yourself is so much easier said than done because once you are in a cycle of being responsible for everything and for everybody you’re the only one that can find a missing pair of jeans, fix the cell phone charger,  pay the bills, clean the house and heaven forbid no one else can make lunch.

I refuse to feel guilty anymore, and on some level, we all know that our children and husbands aren’t the one’s making us feel guilty, we have to own that. So in owning that emotion, we need to change it from guilt to self-care and take responsibility for it.

My soul is happy and since I’ve put myself at the top of my to-do list  I feel that taking care of myself IS taking care of my family.